I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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