So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
