how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
