What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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