i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
