I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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