Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
