One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
