im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
