I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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