My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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