i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
