Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
