Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
