you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
