she was so not down for the gang bang
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
The best revenge is premature balding
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
