I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Randomize
