with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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