i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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