i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
wow bdsm is so cute
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
