Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
