I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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