You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
