seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
