I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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