hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
