I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
