K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
