I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I need water and some morals
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
