I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
