My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
