those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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