i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
