she looked like the bat from fern gully.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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