she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
