...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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