i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
too bad you live with your parents still
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
