Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
