and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Randomize
