Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize