Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
