Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
