You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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