The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
