I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
