So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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