We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
