Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
