I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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