You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
