You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Terrible idea I love it
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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