Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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