it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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