well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
