You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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