"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
The ass gains better be worth it
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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