therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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